Oh, they don’t mean any harm, but sometimes parents of healthy kids can say the darndest things, can’t they? Here are some of my favorites that I’ve heard, directly said to me or at least in my presence.
“I keep all those nasty chemicals far away from my precious child!” (referring to bleach)
Yes, I remember living in a world where I didn’t have to rely on harsh cleaners to keep my child alive, or to prevent my child from passing on things like C-Diff to my other children.
But instead of the fairly judge-y statement above, I might suggest, “I prefer to avoid chemical cleaners if possible.” (Or, you know, “I’ve been so blessed in my life so far that I am 100% confident that germs in our environment are no threat to the lives of my family” would work, too. Or, “All of our family members have immune systems that we’re confident can fight most germs in our environment, and I’m fortunate enough to not have had cause to ever stop to think about the really dangerous bugs out there.”)
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“There isn’t any reason to use hand sanitizer.”
I would suggest, “our family hasn’t had much use for hand sanitizer.”
Here’s a list of the times our family uses hand sanitizer. Note that they are all times when handwashing isn’t possible.
- In between steps of multi step medical procedures.
- After outdoor chores when Teddy was nonmobile, before touching him to bring him back into the house.
- Frequently when in public places and touching things.
- Upon leaving the hospital (we wash hands when we walk in the door at home).
- For guests, at the door, so I don’t have to walk them to the bathroom to wash.
Handwashing isn’t always possible. But I’m grateful that some people have never had to worry as much about germy hands as many medical parents do.
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“Breastmilk is always best.”
Breastmilk is usually best. Some babies have medical conditions such that breastmilk, or breastmilk alone, is NOT what is best. Those moms probably feel terrible, and don’t need your judgy comments.
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“I would never <whatever>” or “There is never any reason to <whatever>.”
The one I most recently saw was “I would never give my child artificial hormones.” (Note: This person wasn’t talking about BGH in milk, but rather medical use of hormones.) Perhaps, “under normal circumstances, I’d never give my child artificial hormones.” Or, “I am thankful that my child’s body currently makes and utilizes all of the proper hormones in the proper amounts and proportions, and so I have no reason to need to consider using artificial hormones.”
This was said by a person who claimed to be a friend after they learned I was giving Teddy epogen shots (erythropoietin is a hormone created by the kidneys – broken kidneys don’t make any.)
You have to be careful with “there’s never any reason to” statements. Do you really mean “for most kids, there’s never any reason to….” or “in most situations…”? I think you do. And if that’s what you really mean, then say THAT.
Our Teddy Bear's Journey 