Since we’re in the middle of cold and flu season here, I thought it prudent to remind parents to keep your sick darlings at home. All day. Every day. Until they’re better.
One would think this would go without saying, but recently while sitting watching my daughter’s gymnastics class, I noticed one of the girls who’s usually inside the gym with her sister was instead sitting next to me with her mom. Coughing. A lot. When her classmates arrived for class, she started to run over to give them a hug and her mom told her no hugging. Why? Because if you’re sick enough to need to stay home from school, then you need to stay away from people. Like her classmates. But evidently not like me. I thanked God that I had begun leaving Teddy at home with Wally for gymnastics last year, because I might possibly be serving jail time for verbal assault right now if he’d been there.
SURPRISE. If you’re too sick to go to school and you’re too sick to attend gymnastics, you’re too sick to be sitting in the waiting room at gymnastics. If you’re also too young to be home alone, then you can stay in the car with your mom, right?
Teddy has primary immune dysfunction. While experts disagree at the moment on the precise nature of said dysfunction(s), the part of his body that fights viruses and cancers doesn’t work right. He’s also got secondary immune suppression – we’re suppressing his immune system on purpose. This means that the part of his body that fights viruses, bacteria, fungus, cancer, and literally everything else doesn’t work right.
This means he gets sick more easily, and he stays sick longer, and it’s harder to get over things.
And every illness brings the risk of rejection. As his immune system vamps up to fight the illness, it’s possible that the vamped-up immune system says “omigosh! Look at this! I found this whole giant kidney that does not actually belong here!! ATTACK!!!”
But even if you don’t have a kid with immune issues, and you have instead a kid who will get a cold and get over it with little issue, you STILL don’t want your kid to get sick. And you don’t want YOU to get sick. Because nobody likes being sick. If you don’t want YOU or YOUR KID to get sick, what do you think the chances are that literally everyone else on the planet ALSO doesn’t want to get sick themselves or to have sick kids? Yeah, pretty high, I bet.
So. I’ve come up with a list of rules for sick kids. Rules that should seem obvious, but evidently aren’t, based on the number of people who don’t follow them. Ready?
- If your kid is sick, keep them home. Not just from school. From everything. Playgroup. Activities. Target. Everything.
- When can they go back? When they’ve been fever free for 24 hours, vomit free for 24 hours, rash free for 24 hours, or when they’ve passed out of the contagious period for whatever illness they had. Ask your kid’s doctor for guidance if you’re not sure.
- Do not assume that nobody cares if your kid shows up with X illness. I once heard someone say that “everyone wants their kid to get chicken pox, so I think we’ll go ahead and go to playgroup anyway.” Ok, please understand that not everyone wants their kid to get chicken pox. And while I can hear some of you gasping over those darn anti vaxxers, know that I’ve heard this ONE TIME for chicken pox, and a billion times for colds. “Eh, it’s just a cold, nobody will care.” Um, people will care.
- If you’re pretty sure nobody will care, ask people before assuming. For example, before a playgroup or homeschool activity, drop a note in the Event discussion. “Hey, my kid has the plague. We were planning to come unless that’s a problem.” That gives people a heads up, at least. It still assumes that you and your kid are more important than anyone else and their kid, but at least you’re being up front. That gives people like us the opportunity to say, “oh, hey, nope. We’ll stay home.”
- Do NOT just drug your kid up and send them on their way. Despite Tylenol, cough syrup, and anti diarrheal medicine, the child is still sick. Their body needs to rest and recover. Let them do that. They’re KIDS. Missing one day – or one week – or honestly even one month – of activities and school isn’t going to be the end of the world.
- Let other parents know. If you were just hanging out with Suzie and Timmy the day before your child started vomiting like crazy, give Suzie’s and Timmy’s parents a heads-up. “Hey, I’m so sorry. Jimmy was fine yesterday, but this morning he started vomiting. I hope we didn’t accidentally expose you to something!” Most people understand you didn’t do this on purpose and will appreciate a warning.
- Teach your kids good hygiene. Teach them to cough into their elbow. To wash their hands often, especially after the restroom, touching their noses, or dealing with snot in any way. To avoid others as much as possible if going out in public is necessary (such as staying in the car during gymnastics). Have them wear a mask if you must take them into crowded areas or areas with food, such as the grocery store.
- Teach your kids to be considerate of others. Yes, these things are a hassle, but they help keep others from getting sick.
- Follow other people’s explicitly stated rules. If your child attends school with a transplant recipient, for example, chances are good that at least the transplant kiddo’s classroom has specific rules for illness. Follow them. If your kid were allergic to peanuts, you’d want everyone to not give your kid peanuts, right? Well, the parent of that kid wants everyone to not give their kid illnesses if it can be helped.
Another example is if you know medically complex kids or adults. They often have rules and they’re usually pretty upfront with them. We ask that people let us know before coming to our house (or before family or friend gatherings) if they’re sick, if they’ve been sick, or if they’ve been around others who are sick. We ask that people remove their shoes when they enter our home and that they wash their hands. If you know someone who has rules like this – just follow them.
Our Teddy Bear's Journey 