This has been one of those weeks. One of those weeks where kidney disease really has me down. One of those weeks where I’m smacked in the face with the realities of living with CKD.
There’s Teddy’s whole PTLD thing – and while it probably isn’t PTLD, the fear that it could be is wearing on me. For all the “worrying about it won’t change anything” that I might say… I still worry. Not overtly, but it’s always there, in the back of my head.
There’s one of our local kidney buddies, just got his transplant in November, back in the hospital and fighting for his life. On Saturday, they weren’t sure he was going to make it. He went from OK to crashing in just a matter of hours, from an infection that started small but his body couldn’t fight because of the immune suppression.
There’s the son of a friend of mine, also post-transplant, with the kind of bad lab results that leave you scrambling for answers and praying that ALL of those possible answers are wrong.
There’s another friend’s son, admitted for something basic and simple but suddenly sliding towards some very scary stuff.
A few other friends and friends of friends waiting on potentially scary news, dealing with scary stuff, staring Terrible in the face.
Ugh. I hate this disease. I hate it I hate it I hate it.