3 Weeks: Anxious

Oh My God Can It Just Be May 9 Already?? Preferably May 9 in the evening, after it’s all over?

Wikipedia says that Anxiety is “a psychological and physiological state characterized by somatic, emotional, cognitive, and behavioral components. It is the displeasing feeling of fear and concern. The root meaning of the word anxiety is ‘to vex or trouble’; in either presence or absence of psychological stress, anxiety can create feelings of fear, worry, uneasiness, and dread. It is also associated with feelings of restlessness, fatigue, concentration problems, and muscle tension.”


Physical inability to be still. Hyper focus on doing things. Really anything. Jaw tension to the point of giving myself headaches. Grinding my teeth unconsciously. Inability to concentrate. (yeah, combine that with the hyper focus on doing stuff… good times.)

I’ve never really had this amount of lead time before a surgery. I’m accustomed to the anxiety kicking in the night before or the day of a surgery, because that’s about how far in advance I’ve known about it. I’m not accustomed to anxiety kicking in 3 weeks before. Yikes.

I’ve spent most of the LAST 3 weeks living happily in a bubble of denial. But 3 weeks out… the denial isn’t working for me any more and now it’s like Transplant TV playing in my head… all Transplant, All The Time.

Come on, May 9!!


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