I don’t know if this is a fact that a lot of people who are trying to be helpful just don’t understand, or what? This conversation I had with the social worker is extremely similar to a conversation I had with a nurse while pregnant with Teddy.
The topic was How I Manage Stress. I tried to sell her on the idea that I’ve transcended stress. I don’t have time to worry about my stress, so I just don’t. This is better than stressing about my stress, which is what I used to do. She wants to know concrete things I do. Well, when I can muster the energy, I clean. I don’t do baths, or massages, or long walks… that just gives me time to obsess and to think, which is counterproductive. I could probably stand to work out, but I don’t have time.
How much time do you need? Well, I thought the recommendation was 20 minutes 3 times a week. Do you think you could ask Randy to take the kids after he gets home from work and you could work out for 20 minutes? Ok, sure. So after a long day at work, he’s supposed to leap right into taking care of the kids during their whiniest, most challenging time of the day? And instead of working out himself, which he clearly needs more than I do? And we’re assuming that, if I had 20 minutes, I’d choose to exercise??
I skipped right to that last one – if I had 20 minutes, I’d probably be better off spending it working. Because if I don’t keep up with Wallypop, I just get MORE stressed. How much work could you possibly get done in 20 minutes? Well, assuming I’m caught up, and depending on how many orders I have, I can sometimes get a days’ worth of orders ready to go out the door in 20 minutes.
OK, well, can’t you do that in the 20 minutes AFTER your workout?
WHAT? So now we’re assuming I have 40 minutes? And we’re still assuming that if I had 40 minutes, I’d spend half of that time exercising? Because I’d STILL choose to work for that full 40 minutes.
And I also made the point that I’m working under an extreme sleep deficit and if I realistically thought I had 40 uninterrupted minutes, I’d probably spend it either sleeping or catatonic in the chair.
I just don’t understand what is so hard to comprehend about this.
24 hours in a day.
4-5 hours school
2 hours in the morning doing Teddy stuff (washing bottles – and dishes, drawing up meds, feeding pump stuff, dressing changes, bathing, whatever.
1-2 hours household tasks
6 hours pumping
4 hours Wallypop (ideally)
That’s 17-19 hours right there. That leaves 5-7 hours for sleep, personal care, and doing fun things with the kids. And I haven’t included PM time with Teddy medical stuff because I don’t yet have a good idea how much time that will take.
Do you see an extra 20 minutes in there? I don’t.